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yepp. ^ dots ^ things atm dont really have a title.

swim club

well, swim club's started back which i was dreading but its actually pretty fun atm. me n jack r close again, and i hang around with him, and of course matt follows around. jordan's there too, my new friend from last season. I guess thats our little group. i also hang around with tayla and elise and sit over their side sometimes. and cait comes sometimes to hang out with us ( and for additive reasons i have sworn to keep secret - for now anyway)

I am still not great at swimming, but thats probably because i havent trained since like forever, and i cant be bothered training either. club's more like a fun thing for me now, not competitive. But, the downside is, im in the carnival next week for ~ EVERY STROKE ~ even butterfly!!! its like the stroke developed by the devil to torture and make complete fools of us mere mortals. Im in it because im the only girl in my age group swimming atm. pheobe has been off at a school camp, and elise has been sick!! kill me. i am attempting to refuse to do butterfly, but so far it hasnt worked :(

<3

a certain someone has started flirting with me and i dont know whether i like them. i am 50% hoping that it is just this thing they r getting into a habit of it, like flirting with all the girls, or trying to make his ex jealous, but 50% of me isnt. i think that if he asked me out, i would say yes, but it would be awkward coz me and his ex are greatttt friends, but she says she thinks me n him would be cute together, but i dont know if she means it.. im trying not to give out names in case im wrong about this whole thing and someone from school reads it. but i might have already given it away, but hey, as i said - i could be wrong!! also there is someone else who i might possibly like, but i think its just a crush (as mentioned in a previous post)

school & friends

school is getting harder and harder. not academically, thats all fine, but the whole getting up to go to school. im soooooooooo tired lately. i dont even know why. it might just be as simple as sleeping more, or im just wiped from school the day b4.

omg last friday we disected a BULL'S EYE!! not the dart board bulls eye - no - it was a real live (or not so live) bull's eye. it was so awesomely disgusting!! i cut it with scissors to open up the front and the jelly stuff on the inside oooooozzeeddd out it was so cool! i was really worried @ the start, but turned out i didnt mind it at all. that kinda surprised me coz i cant watch RPA (this hospital thing on tv that shows u all of the surgery on patients - i hate it - needles *shudder*) but the eye didnt bother me. me n daniel were playing around with the jelly while dishmini and supun were looking at the lens of the eye which was awesome coz it was like a magnifying glass and we were reading the news paper with it lol. it was pretty coolio.

my friends are as good as ever. there isnt really much to tell i guess. we r getting along, me n cait getting stronger everyday since we had our little ignoring period when simone came into the picture. im getting used to having her around and having to (im trying to make this sound better but i cant) share cait with her. simone isnt too bad, you just have to get used to having her around, thats all. me n her are friends, but not really close friends. she'd be one of those types of people you smile to in passing, or have the odd conversation about something and get along well.

..........

lol yep. more dots.

im like realllyyyy into music at the moment. and dad's downloaded a program called 'eMule' which i can get music off. it was on mums computer and i kept using to get my music, and now i have it, ive gone nuts. everyday i think i get a new song from it. :) in fact, right now, i am listening to the music, and downloading some too. ive dowloaded songs from movies (back to the future, ferris bueller's day off) and the whole version of the theme song from big bang theory (its so quirky!!) and just other songs.

<<<<<<<<<<<<

single pringle ;)

i have no shame in being single :) i am actually loving it. no pressures on wanting to see the guy, no pressures of not including him in the group etc. i was actually reading this book my mum gave me (dont ask) about the teenage years, its actually reaaaaallllllllyyyyy good. its like a step by step thing on being a teenage girl and all the worries n stuff. it sounds lame but it isnt :)

it had this section on relationships, and (this next bit i see as very true) it says this (i dont have the book in front of me right now, this is just from the top of my head what i remember)::

there is no shame in being single. It is not a bad thing, it actually gives you a lot more freedom. Lots of girls think that they are 'not good enough' for a guy, or they are 'not girlfriend material'. This is ridiculous! All girls have the capabilities to have or get a guy. You just have to wait for the right one. Here are some positives to being single:

• You can go wherever you want when you want without having to think if he will approve
• You can flirt with whoever you want when you want
• You can fool around and be completely yourself (though guys like to think we can be normal around them, it is a bit embarrassing sometimes)
• You can have great girl's nights out without wanting to text him to say goodnight

I also thought of some of my own (besides the ones i mentioned @ the start) ::

• You can walk around without people stopping you and saying 'you're going out with that guy, right?' and asking all ridiculous questions about it
• You can check out guys without caring or thinking twice
• You can flirt with whoever you want ( i know this was said above, but i thought i'd re-mention it haha)
• You can pay more attention to guys who look at you as you walk through a shopping centre/mall like garden city (garbo)
• You can laugh with your friends at whether they think 'that guy over there is checking you out!'

so yep. i might even have a crush already. =S i mean i have been thinking about this guy for a while, and used to majoorrllyyy like him, but now i think its just a crush and will wear off, but i dont care, its actually fun having a crush coz u get so excited when ur around the guy, and u end up having more fun coz ur flirting or trying to impress.

so id just like to say to anyone who feels stupid coz they r single - get a laugh out of it why you can and stop feeling so sad about it.

im not saying that my time with michael was wasted. maybe that last bit (the last about 5ish weeks) might have been, but the rest was just like being in heaven (not the dead part, the good part) but i got over it and glad it ended when it did. :)

life has settled

at one stage there, my life seemed like one of those snow globe things, how it was all settled, and everything was working out well, and just staying there, but then its like someone came along and shook it, sending all those bits flying around, nothing fitting right and life pretty much going to hell. let me explain::

1. caitlin hung around with simone and didnt pay any attention to me
2. the guys didnt really talk to me much because they would be playing soccer
3. as a result of the above ( ^^^^^^^^^^^ ) i would sit on my own at lunch watching the guys like a loner (oh fun)
4. i have been considering breaking up with michael for quite a few weeks now (since about 2 weeks b4 holidays) and realised over the holidays i didnt want to go out with him anymore for definite. i didnt even miss him - but i couldnt get to talk to him to tell him.
5. if i did get the chance to talk to him, i wouldnt have been able to without crying for stupid nonreasons.

so yeah life sucked.

but now its awesome!!

cait and mitch broke up, (im not saying this is good) which made caitlin talk to me, because she trusted me enough to tell me she would, then she started hugging me and everything now. so, problem number one, is no more

problem #2 is also solved, because without having caitlin, mitch has become a better friend towards me, the same with the other guys, so i was playing soccer with them today which was funny. the guys have all started being stupid towards cait tho... they r teasing her and simone, but caitlin knows that just coz i hang with them doesnt mean i think the same as them, so i can be safely on both sides without people hating me aswell.

problems 3 & 4 were solved today at lunch. the last bits of the snow globe finally settling. michael came to our group, and we walked away and he suggested we didnt 'see eachother anymore' and i whole heartedly agreed, sooooooo relieved that he had done it. he started sounding like he was coming up with excuses i didnt really care about, but i listened anyway.

i still realllyyy wanna be friends with him, im just glad i dont have to awkwardly hug him anymore haha.

so yep - life is great atm, and i have to go.

i shall post again soonish.

[end of cania gorge camping]

i forgot to mention in the last post that we went for a drive to the gold mines, and it was a 4WD track, and we hit something and the car shut down. we thought it mightve been out of petrol (nope) Terry is the car guy too, so he was doing everything to try fix it, then had to drive an hour and a half back to the site to get some petrol and see if that was it, so i had to sit on the side of a dirt road, reading twilight, listening to music for over an hour and when he came back it turned out that wasnt the problem. so eventually we just went back with terry - which was great coz he drives fast on 4WD tracks, and i love all the bumps of 4WD and the thrill of it, but mum and hannah didnt so they were freaking out when i was completely calm, still listening to music.
RACQ went back to get the car and tried to fix it, but obviously, seeing as it is a week since we got back and we still have the hire car, they havent been successful. the hire car didnt have a tow ball, so we had to leave the trailer there, and Fred (uncle) picked it up and its at their house.

so, the ride home:.:.:

so we packed up all the tents and tarps and everything and put it in BERT (Big Extremely Red Trailer) and left in the hire car (toyota camry)at around 1 i think it was... on that gold mine drive, i have learned that i get car sick, but not where i throw up, i just get pains in my stomach like u get when u r sick, but no feeling like im gonna throw up, and i get a hugeeee head ache. so, when i got into the car for what i didnt doubt was going to be a hellish drive home, i put in my music which i had charged all the previous night, and turned it right up and stared out the window. just before we left the camp site we went to check out and me mum and dad got a latte for the drive, then in the town closeish by we stopped at a servo to get some chips for lunch, then we were off.

it was a few hours in and there it was, that sick feeling. 'oh great' it hought to myself, and turned the music up full bore so that i couldnt even hear the purr of the engine of the camry hire car (which was a nice drive btw). after a while i realised i was absent-mindedly lip-syncing to 21 Guns (greenday) and wondered for how many songs i had been doing this. i switched to my songs by The Script (my fave band) just as we were pulling up for a stop. when we were getting back in mum got out some food, and i asked for some savoury stuff, because the thought of sugary food just made me feel sick. i reallyyy did not want any. so i had a hard boiled egg and mum got out some chips, which werent sweet, so i ate some. i was feeling a bit better after being able to get out of the car into fresh air (im not too keen on a 'new car smell' when i feel like this) once again it was in to the car, and in with the music.

it was getting to around 6.30 and we were coming up to gympie. i had caught myself lip-syncing to some of the script songs again, and laughed at myself. this earned me a strange look from my sisters. my headache was getting worse, and i couldnt wait to get away from the sickening 'new car smell'. we pulled into hungry jacks for dinner, which was disgusting, and i took one sip of my coke and it repulsed me because it was so sweet. i couldnt drink anymore of that stuff yukkk!! mum and dad were laughing at me because i was actually repulsed by sweet food. they started teasing me that they would get out the chocolate in the car and i thought this idea would sicken me, but even car sickness cant dull my desire for chocolate. hehe. so about half an hour of music, (which im sure was going to eventually deafen me because to distract me from this hell i was experiencing the music was blasting in my ears. thats ok though - its good music ) later, mum, did indeed bring out some chocolate. of course cadbury. it made me feel a bit better actually, than what i had expected (- worse)

a few more hours and we were home. 8.00 we arrived home. 7ish hour drive including stops - not too bad (for people who didnt feel like they were being tortured)

but overall it was a good camping trip. i have made a mental note that next time we go on a long drive to camp to bring at least 4 books. i could have finished the two that i brought twice each. i finished twilight within the first 10 minutes of the drive, and then started Harry Potter again. I gave up though because its a bit boring having so recently read it.

great week + horrible sickn feeling drive home = cania gorge camping trip 2009 :)

[continuation of camping- cania gorge]

so the next day we finished setting up completely and settled in for the week ahead. the heat wasnt too bad, but i could tell we were in for a hot one. around lunch time we got a message from the office saying my aunt and uncle had called saying they were gonna come and visit us the next day. this would be awesome coz i hadnt seen them in at least 2 years i think. we didnt do much that day, i read a bit more, ate a magnum (YUM) and when vannessa's family came helped them set up a bit and then we were were just lazy.

the relatives came the next day, with a surprise - my cousin and her husband!! melanie is my favouriteeeee cousin and we have been pretty much great friends since i was around 4ish. she is 30 this year, and there is a hugeee age difference but we still get along really well. her husband's cool too. we all caught up, me n mel and my sisters went on the jumping pillow, eventually joined by Kurtis (vannessa'a son). which was fun coz melanie was freaking out and i made her fall over a few times, so she kept doing the same to me. I would tackle hannah, and she'd keep coming back for more (strange child). we had lunch, went for a bit of a drive to the dam and then they left. it was a good day.

[now i cant really remember the order things happened past here, so im just gonna say what we did] one day we went for a walk up to see a cave, then a lookout, then another cave (the walk went past all three of these) the cave (called The Dragon's Cave) was awesome. it looked like one of those caves you'd see in fantasy movie with - can u believe it - dragons. i am so unfit now that it is not funny, its kinda sad actually, so by the time we got to the lookout, which was allll up hill, i was so tired. it wasnt even a great view, seeing as all the water had dried up and it hasnt rained in at least a year. the other cave wasnt as good, but it was still pretty impressive. we all decided that Terry (vannessa's husband - the joker) would have to buy us all ice-creams because we were all so tired. also, there was this big boulder and Terry was blocking the way so trying to get past him, and i scratched my hip on the boulder (of course, being me) and it started bleeding and the next day there was a huge yellow bruise there. it was a bit painful. hahaha its gone now tho.

we also did bird feeding, i did it twice, once the day before we left, and the other i think was the 4th day we were there. after it each time i had loaddssssssssss of scratches on my hands and arms. (so yep, ive been injured more than usual in a few days :P) and yeah some of them were bleeding a little but it was really cool with lorikeets, king parrots and galas, and then cockatoos above in the trees. it was awesome, worth the scratches.

ummm i went in the pool there twice, the first time it was so cold i could barely breathe, so we decided to get out. the second time it was blistering hot day, so it was really nice in there, but there was this guy who was staring at me the whole time, so i got out and put my sun shirt on over my bikini top coz i felt a bit awkward, but he still stared at me. he wasnt too bad looking tho... tanned and signs of abs. haha. but still. awwwkkwaarddddd

went on the jumping pillow a few more times too

it was soooo hot it was unimaginable for spring. i kept thinking 'just kill me, im gonna dieee'. it was blistering!! i didnt get sunburt tho. i just wanted to sit in their ice freezer. i walked around in singlet tops and short shorts, which i havent been able to do in agesss, and i was still so uncomfortably hot. so, we bought more ice cream. haha. i swear this was like the ice cream week. i think there was only one day we didnt have a magnum, it became kind of a tradtion. we had a different one everyday. hahaha. it was awesome.

campingg (cania gorge)

ok well thisll take ages to write so im gonna do them in different posts. lets start from the beginning....


I woke up (or got woken up by mum) at around 3 in the morning. usually I'm fine with the whole 'get up extremely early without wanting to collapse and sleep' thing so it wasnt too bad. Went around the house making sure I hadnt forgotten anything, and trying to wake myself up. It was freezing because the sun obviously wasnt up yet, but i got changed into my short shorts and a shirt anyway, coz i knew itd get hotter. we eventually got into the car with the trailer (we call it B.E.R.T - Big Extremely Red Trailer) on the back. I'd made suer to charge my phone so i could listen to my music, and not whatever music my sisters and parents had brought. I was glad I did, because the first CD in was Jimmy Barnes - great.... So, i put in my headphones, turned them up to full volume and prepared for the drive. As hard as i tried not to fall asleep, my stupid human instincts kicked in and i just drifted away. I probably wouldnt have if I had gotten to sleep at a reasonable time the night before, but of course I didnt. I got to sleep around 10.30 - 11.00 (probably swaying more towards the 11 mark...) so I'd only gotten about 4ish hours of sleep. I hate hate hate sleeping in the car tho, so it wasnt like I was knocked out, I kept randomly waking up then drifting again. I ended up taking out my headphones while i tried to get comfortable (impossible in a car) then I gave up after about say 1 and a half hours. but by this stage Hannah (sister - youngest) had fallen asleep on me. oh yay. it was hot enough already without her on me, and i could even push her off, because Samantha (sister - devil child) was asleep on Hannah!! This was going to be a long drive...

Eventually after a few hours we made it to Gympie for a healthy maccas breakfast :) haha. I made sure I got a coffee to prepare me for the next about 5 hours. I tried not to think that possily the next hour and a half i would have people laying on me asleep. It was a really good breakfast. The coffee was reallyyy good. (caramel latte hehe) After breakfast we got back in the car and up went the volume of my music again. I wasnt really in the mood to talk (though I was constantly asking for the air con to be turned up becuase of the heat my sister's pillow was putting on me) , so i tuned myself out by concentrating on the music. We stopped a few more times before lunch to get petrol, and I was so glad Hannah and Sam had had enough sleep. I'd also disocovered I'd over come my feeling sick when I read in the car and that was what I had been doing since we had left maccas. I was reading Harry Potter 7 for the second time because I'd forgotten what had happened, and was wishing I'd brought another book, because I was about a third through by the time we stopped for lunch, and we still had a few hours, and I knew I would read on the way back, but I would be finished before then. Lunch was good. I just had a pie, but it was really good for something you'd expect from a small country town. Back in the car I started reading again, also the music on, but I'd turned it down because mum was getting frustrated when she went to talk to me and I was unresponsive.

When we reached the camp site we had been driving for 8 and a half hours including stops. OhMyGod. I hated long trips and that was like my nightmare, so I wasnt in a good mood. the sisters would be talking to me when mum n dad went to sign us all in, which took longer than we expected, and I'd just get angry at them because they were being stupid. but my mood wasnt even improved by taking what seemed like forever to decide whos tents would go where. once we'd finally figured it out, I'd had enough waiting and went to grab my tent and the ground sheet to set it all up. mum was telling me n sam to work together, but i ended up being able to do it on my own, just needing some help to get the poles up, and my arm was dead by the end of hammering 12 poles in. then i had to help sam coz she's hopeless. it took the hannah mum n dad 3 hours to put up the tarp (its humungousssssss) because dad was being difficult about it, and then there was a hugeee gust of wind (it had been windy all day) and it bent one of the poles and the whole thing went down. mum was soooooo annoyed.

a while later after getting up a smaller tarp, we were set up. it was dark by then. so we didnt want to have to unpack everything, so we just had some sandwhiches and I was so tired that I went hyper and i think everyone else did too, because by the end of 'dinner' we were all laughing our heads off at everything and anything. I decided to give up and go to bed eventually.

good times :)

holidays are the best dont u reckon?? no pressure of school, no having to wake up in the morning with the pressure of having to get to the bus and to school, no homework to be thought about, free to just relax. yesterday all i did was read my book, yep, the entireeee day! i pretty much started it (hadnt long started) and finished it. i had to clean my room but that didnt take long, i just read and listened to music. in the afternoon i downloaded some more music, because after u listen to the same songs for a while u want new ones, and there are a few i have been meaning to get. today mum n dad are out and my sisters just got back from the park with friends so mum told me to go for a walk down to the shops and get out a DVD that i could watch, just so long as i ironed so there are clothes ready to be packed to go away, so, i did. the movie finished and i have been listening to my music. completelyyyy stress free so far.

but i dont want to hav e to start packing for camping. i love camping and everything, but i hate the before and after. setting up sucks, packing all the stuff before hand is possibly even worse, then packing up at the end of the week is just as depressing. all the in between stuff is the best tho, so i guess its all worth it in the end, yeah?

but before all that, tomorrow the relaxion is over, and we r going to wet n wild!! yayyyyy! my parents got us those pass things that get u into seaworld wet n wild or movie world, which is awesome because the weather atm is so hot and to be able to go to wet n wild is gonna be gr8. thats y i love summer. even tho its spring it feels like summer. the hot weather is great. im able to walk around in my shorts and singlets again and im gonna start straightening my hair a bit more if i can because its a lot cooler because it seems lighter straightened.

now im just dreading the going bck to school. i mean, i have maths first day back!! how unfair is that! it irks me just thinking of it :S

anyway ill talk to ya later!!

P.S yeah, i made the picture up the top ;)